The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : THE PHANTOM MENACE ERA

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Missing Images
Part 6/7

by ami-padme

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3 years later : Anakin -- 18; Amidala -- 23

Ami...

She was in a void, surrounded by emptiness.

Amidala...

She couldn't see or feel anything.

Ami...

There was nothing.

Amidala...

Except for his voice.

A distant, weak, pleading whisper. A caress against her mind.

Ami...

Where was he? Where was she? Why couldn't she answer him?

Amidala...

She had to help him. Why was she always so far away from him?

Ami...

She wanted to answer, to let him know she was there. No sound came out.

And there was something else she wanted to say, something she needed to tell him. But she pushed it aside. It would have to wait.

No... tell me...

What? What had he said? He couldn't have heard what she -

Amidala...Your Highness?

Your Highness? He never called her that. And his voice sounded different, higher.

"Your Highness? Wake up. It's Rabé. Your Highness?"

Amidala opened her eyes and found her handmaiden shaking her awake. "I apologize for the intrusion, Your Highness, but I have news -"

"Anakin?" Amidala whispered.

"Yes," Rabé answered in surprise.

Amidala raced from the hangar as soon as her ship landed. They were only a short distance from the medic center. Her apprehension was rising - she worried about what she would find when she got there.

Obi-Wan sent a message hours ago informing her that Anakin had been severely injured in a speeder accident. He wasted no time on the details; he had to keep his Padawan stable until a Healer arrived. Right before slipping into a coma, Anakin had mentally called out for her. They were on Syard, a planet in Naboo's system, and he thought she might be able to come.

Amidala had left immediately. She doubted she could help, but didn't need Obi-Wan to tell her that Anakin needed her.

She entered the center and found Obi-Wan looking haggard and fatigued. Amidala hugged him and asked, "How is he?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I've done all I can. I'm not trained to heal others, and his injuries are quite severe. The Healer should be here shortly."

"You must be exhausted." She glanced over her shoulder, "Eirtaé, bring him something to eat and drink."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Amidala, I don't need anything. I'm fine -" he started to protest.

"Obi-Wan, you've been here for hours, and I'm sure you haven't had any sleep." She led him over to a row of chairs and they both sat. "Just relax for a minute and tell me what happened."

Obi-Wan reluctantly launched into the story. Their mission had been quite routine, even a little boring. They were here to guide an important trade negotiation at Palpatine's request, but the parties seemed to have no serious disagreements. They had planned to leave the evening before.

During their stay, Anakin befriended the Minister's son, a young man about his age. They found that they both shared a love for racing, and spent most of the day in the plains, engaged in friendly competition.

Although Anakin had been piloting constantly the past few years, he hadn't done much land racing since leaving Tatooine. Being on that speeder seemed to spark memories and feelings in him that he wasn't prepared to handle.

Hours later, Obi-Wan spotted Anakin headed for the hills near the Minister's residence. He had tried to warn Anakin - the tiny speeder he was using couldn't possibly handle the twists and turns necessary to navigate the area, no matter who the pilot was. Anakin pretended not to hear him and continued. Obi-Wan decided to head out after him. He felt the crash just before he could reach his Padawan.

It was miraculous that Anakin hadn't been hurt worse than he was. He had bailed from the speeder at the last second; his injuries came from the fall, not the crash, which would have undoubtedly killed him He was now suffering a coma from the blow to his head and internal bleeding in other areas.

Obi-Wan ran his hand over his face wearily and gratefully accepted the water Eirtaé handed him before he continued. Over the past years, Anakin had gotten much better about controlling his impulses. This was the most out-of-control Obi-Wan had seen him in a long time. Anakin's tendency to run where his heart led him didn't usually get him into trouble. But he would have to accept even the occasional slip could lead a Jedi into a serious predicament.

Obi-Wan had started to heal Anakin almost immediately. Anakin tried to help, but quickly slipped into a coma. The last thoughts he had heard from Anakin were for his mother - and for her.

Amidala had listened to the entire story without interrupting. She was trying to remain calm. Obi-Wan had faith that the Healer would be able to handle Anakin's injuries - but he almost looked...frightened. Compared to how stoic he normally was, Amidala had to take it as a sign that Anakin really was in dreadful shape.

He'll pull through this. He has to.

Obi-Wan suggested that she go in to see him. With an absent-minded nod, she headed for his room.

Amidala opened the door slowly, still anxious of what she might find. It had been over a year since she had last seen Anakin. She hadn't imagined their next visit would be under such circumstances.

She took a few steps into the room, allowing the door to swing shut behind her. A small smile of relief touched her lips. He didn't look nearly as bad as she had feared. There were bruises and he was pale, but he looked more like he was sleeping than dying. She hoped his appearance wasn't deceiving.

Amidala sat next to him and took his hand into hers. She kissed it softly A blush crept across her face as she recalled his reaction the last time she made that gesture. During his last visit to Naboo.

For once, he had visited when she wasn't overwhelmed with work. For once, he had come without Obi-Wan and without a mission hanging over his head. Neither said so outright, but they almost didn't know what to do with one another without a million things competing for their time.

Anakin adjusted faster than she did, deciding to focus his undivided attention on her, to take care of her as much as possible. He drove the handmaidens a little crazy, taking over tasks here and there. She wasn't sure why she let him do it; he soon arranged things so that they were spending every waking moment together. She had to admit that she enjoyed his efforts -- he stopped her from over-working herself, shielded her from the press, and gave her a shoulder to lean on...she could share anything with him, and feel totally at ease and relaxed.

One night, they talked until just before the sunrise. Anakin suggested that they simply stay up to watch it. They sat on her terrace together and waited quietly.

She didn't know when she had fallen asleep, but when she awoke, the sun was already halfway above the horizon. Her head was resting on his chest; his arm was around her shoulders. She looked up at him guiltily for missing the dawn. He looked back as if he expected her to move out of his embrace.

She wordlessly took his other hand, brought it to her lips, and kissed it.

He had been surprised, that was certain. But he didn't say anything. They were still holding hands. Finally, he tightened his arm around her and kissed her on the top of her head. She shivered at the contact.

Then Saché had entered the room, ready to give her the schedule for the day.

Amidala sighed, and brought her mind back to the present situation.

He'll be fine. He has to be.

Had she taken him for granted? She thought of all the missed chats...the times it had taken her so long to write him back... the promised visits that had never materialized. She was always unconcerned, telling herself they would make up for it the next time. But what if there isn't a next time? She had never considered what it might be like not to have him there... not to be able to count on him... or talk to him or...

She shook herself from that thought. She had to stop being so melodramatic.

He'll be all right. He has to be.

Amidala felt something hit her hand. She looked down and realized in surprise that she was crying. She wiped the tear from her hand and tried to dry her eyes. What is wrong with me? She couldn't remember the last time she had cried.

But she knew why she was crying, even if she wasn't quite ready to admit it. It was the same reason she had been so cross with Saché that morning. The same reason she hadn't even thought of moving out of Anakin's embrace.

Losing Anakin's friendship would be terrible enough. But to lose something they hadn't even been able to experience... something she hadn't even told him she was feeling...

And why haven't I told him? Before the question had fully formed in her mind, the answers came. They couldn't make it work. He was too far away. They were too busy, too committed to their careers. The Jedi didn't look kindly on this sort of thing. Her people would be shocked that she had turned down royalty and aristocrats for a Padawan and former slave. He was too young.

That last one almost made her laugh. He certainly wasn't a child anymore. Not at all. How many times had she told him that his age was irrelevant to their relationship?

Obi-Wan burst into the room, a woman following closely behind him. "Amidala, I'm sorry, but -"

"That's fine, Obi-Wan." She knew the woman was the Healer. "I'll leave him to you." She left the room, wiping the rest of her tears away.

Over a week later.

Amidala entered the room, carrying a bouquet of flowers she had taken (with permission) from the Minister's garden. A laugh greeted her.

"You brought me flowers?" Anakin was sitting up in his bed, looking fully recovered.

"Why not?" Amidala placed them on the table next to his bed. "This place could use a little livening up."

"I won't argue with that."

The Healer had been successful in reversing most of the damage. She had insisted that Anakin get complete bed-rest before he and Obi-Wan returned to Coruscant. They planned to leave in another day or two.

Amidala sat and took his hand, just as she had done several days earlier. This time he squeezed back tightly.

"How are you feeling, Ani?"

"Never better. I'll be out of here in a matter of days." He was clearly in a good mood.

"So, were you out of your mind, or did you have a good reason to be racing like that?" She meant to sound teasing, but there was an edge to her voice.

He didn't seem to notice. "Well, exiled Queens with no hyper-drive aside, I never needed a good reason to race. I'll just have to choose my speeder more carefully next time."

Amidala tried to pull her hand back in annoyance. He didn't let her. "What? What's wrong?"

She didn't answer, so he gave her a pleading look. Damn. She had never successfully ignored that look.

"How can you be so... thoughtless? Insensitive?" She tried to keep the frustration out of her voice, but doubted that she was succeeding. "Some of us were worried sick about you. Some of us couldn't sleep or eat... or do anything but sit next to your bed and hope that maybe you'd open your eyes. Butthat's all right, we shouldn't worry because the next time you have some suicidal impulse to go racing over a cliff, you'll be sure to have a better speeder." Her eyes bore into his, waiting for his response.

Anakin dropped his eyes from her gaze for a moment, and then looked back up. His face and demeanor were now serious. "I'm sorry," he said in a near whisper. "I didn't mean to dismiss what happened." He paused, and seemed to struggle with the next words. "I remember thinking that I wasn't going to make the turn... I can't even describe what that was like. I knew Obi-Wan was coming, but I didn't think he'd get to me in time." He took a deep breath and added, "I could have died out there... for nothing." He shrugged. "I joke about it because that's easier to do."

Amidala felt the anger from her outburst dissolve. She wanted to say something to comfort him, but he started speaking again.

"You know, I'm still not sure what happened. I wasn't particularly upset or angry - I was more nostalgic than anything. I felt those memories from Tatooine; it was like I was back there again. And I didn't want to leave. I don't know if that makes any sense."

"It does," she said simply. "Everybody gets homesick from time to time. But you can't let it get to you that way. There has to be a better way of dealing with it, Ani."

His eyes shut for a moment. "Usually, I can handle it. I've accepted that I'm always going to miss home... and my mother. I have better control over my emotions than I displayed on that speeder." His eyes opened. "I'm going to work with Obi-Wan. It won't happen again." Anakin lifted his hand from hers and caressed her cheek. "And I am truly sorry that I worried you so much."

Amidala felt herself blushing slightly at his touch. "I know you are. I didn't mean to jump all over you."

"Yes, you did. And you were right to do so."

There was silence for a moment. Anakin's hand returned to hers.

Amidala remembered something she needed to ask him about. "Anakin, I... heard you... before I received Obi-Wan's message."

"You heard me?" His expression was a bit blank.

"Yes. You were calling out to me... in a dream. I think it was just before you went into the coma."

Anakin looked so completely surprised that Amidala began to doubt herself. Maybe it wasn't him... maybe that wasn't real.

"No, no - it was me you heard. I was thinking of you the whole time. It's just... highly unusual for someone who doesn't use the Force to hear a Jedi's thoughts. And over such a distance, too..." He gave her a curious look. "Of course, the few times it does happen are usually between family members."

Was she blushing again? This was getting ridiculous. "Well, I've long thought of you as family. In some ways, I think we're closer than family, Ani." She didn't quite look at him. That list of objections crept into her mind again, but she continued. "I couldn't stand the thought that... you might not get better...not without being able to tell you... how much you mean to me... I... Ani, I..."

She gave up, and let the sentence trail off into silence. Anakin stared at her for an interminable period of time without saying anything.

Finally, Anakin lifted his hand and brushed her hair back from her face. He gently pulled her towards him as he leaned forward. Once they were inches apart, he stopped. She stared at him, waiting.

He whispered, "I love you, too, Amidala," and their lips met tenderly.

Amidala melted into his embrace, letting the kiss radiate through her soul. All the objections and fears were gone. She knew this was right. Nothing else mattered.

-->Go to Chapter Seven

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