The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : THE PHANTOM MENACE ERA

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Missing Images
Part 5/7

by ami-padme

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A year later. (Ani - 15; Ami - 20)

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It looks fine. Leave it alone.

I should wrap it anyway. It will look even nicer.

Anakin stared intently at the gift lying on the table in front of him. He had been staring at it for ten minutes now, and he couldn't make up his mind.

How should he wrap it? Should he wrap it at all? Will she care either way?

He had already wrapped and unwrapped it twice. He wasn't convinced the box looked ornate enough to give as it was.

Amidala was back on Coruscant for another conference. The timing was fortunate, as her birthday was in another two weeks. He would be able to give her the gift in person before she left for Naboo. He really wanted - needed - to see her reaction when she opened it.

A familiar, nervous knot twisted in the pit of his stomach as he thought about giving her the present. He had spent weeks trying to find the right thing.

No... that wasn't exactly true. He had known, almost instantly, what he wanted to give her. He had agonized over whether he should give it to her. He had flip-flopped on that more times than he could count, even after he knew he couldn't return or exchange it.

But he had chosen to stick with it. Every time. Nothing else seemed right compared to it.

Anakin heaved a sigh and took the gift out of its box. A Trodian crystal prism. A labyrinth of curves and twists that stood about ten inches high. It was beautiful, intricate, delicate - that's what attracted him in the first place. Every time he looked at it from a different angle, it changed appearance. First completely clear, then deep purple, a rainbow flash, then translucent pink. It was extremely sensitive to changes in how light hit it; he was sure he hadn't seen all the possible patterns. Amidala could keep it on her desk at the Palace and watch it change as she worked.

But it wasn't merely a paperweight or decoration. According to the dealer, it was a Trodian symbol for love - a gift given to show someone the beauty and depth of your feelings for him or her. A sign that the relationship could last through all kinds of change.

Anakin ran a hand through his hair in agitation. What the hell am I thinking? This is crazy. She would never accept it; he was only setting himself up.

He had always been convinced that he would marry Amidala someday. He had told her as much in Watto's shop. Six years had done nothing to change his conviction on the subject. From that standpoint, the gift seemed perfect.

It was also why he was terrified to give it to her. He didn't want to scare her off...her attempts to keep a respectful distance between them hadn't been subtle. He knew she was only trying to spare his feelings.

What she didn't understand was that she couldn't spare his feelings. They would always be tied to her. He knew that she might never return those feelings - it didn't matter. He knew he would always love her.

Anakin put the crystal back in the box. Maybe she wouldn't know the true meaning of the gift. The Trodians were a small cluster of people; the particulars of their culture were not widely known.

Sure, Anakin snickered to himself. He had never been able to fool Amidala. She would most likely see through him in five seconds flat.

But is that such a bad thing? The thought was tentative, he wasn't sure he if believed it or not. It might be best to lay his feelings out on the table. I at least want her to know for sure how I feel, don't I?

He knew nothing could happen between them now. He knew he couldn't expect her to wait until he was older... he knew he couldn't stop her from seeing - or marrying - whomever she chose. Which meant the only point of any of this was... to let her know. To be honest with her, to have no regrets later... to let her know he hadn't given up.

Anakin took the box - without rewrapping it - and headed for her quarters.

"So, Ami, tell me what's going on at this conference."

Amidala didn't answer. She smiled mischievously, pretending to read a report. Anakin sighed, and she glanced at him next to her on the couch. She tried not to smile.

Anakin had changed his mind. Again. The resolve he left his room with disappeared the moment she had opened her door. He didn't really need to see her face when she opened it. He could just hand it to her on his way out.

Of course, it had been too late to make that decision, since he couldn't very well hide the box. Amidala didn't think he was serious about waiting to give it to her. He had tried to brush her questions off; she retaliated by deciding to ignore him until she was allowed to open her present. She had been gleefully unresponsive since then.

Anakin knew when he was beaten. He handed her the box, hoping he appeared appropriately stoic.

She was grinning from ear to ear. "Well, this is a lovely box. I hope the gift inside is half as nice."

Okay, that's one down, Anakin thought.

She lifted the cover and pulled the crystal out carefully. "Anakin, it's beautiful. I -" she paused as the crystal suddenly reflected a dark red hue. "Wow," she whispered. She kept moving the crystal and holding it to the light, observing the changes.

Two down? She obviously approved, and didn't seem to recognize its significance. "I'm glad you like it. I thought of you as soon as I saw it."

Amidala looked up at him. She was still smiling, but placed the crystal back in the box.

"Ani, do you know what this crystal represents?" She asked the question lightly, with no accusation in her voice.

Anakin swallowed hard. "Umm... I think so... I... the dealer tried to explain it..." He wasn't making much sense, but couldn't think of anything intelligent he wanted to say.

"Ani," she started tenderly, "perhaps this gift isn't entirely appropriate."

Anakin winced slightly. I knew this was coming.

She continued, "It's not that I don't appreciate it, Ani -"

"I know," he muttered. "I kind of figured that I shouldn't give it to you. I'm sorry. I'll take it back and we can forget it."

She shook her head and moved closer to him on the couch. "I really do love the gift, Anakin. It's probably the nicest thing I'll get from anyone." She touched his arm. "And I'm truly touched by what you're trying to say." She waited for a sign that he believed her. He nodded. "I just don't want to unintentionally hurt you."

"You mean, if you get married."

"Well, what if that did happen?" She bit her lip a little. "You know that we can't be together, not in that way, not now. Any new person in my life could be a threat to our friendship."

He vehemently shook his head. "Ami, I would never stop being your friend. I don't think I could do that. You don't have to worry about it."

She looked at him closely. "Do you honestly believe that?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Ani..."

"You know, someday, our ages won't matter so much." He didn't know what made him bold enough to say that aloud, but he continued. "I wish they didn't matter so much now. But I can accept how things are - I have accepted it. I like the way things are now. I wouldn't give that up." He paused for a second, then added, "I would never try to give you an ultimatum - this isn't an either-or proposition for me."

Amidala smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear you say that. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell what you're thinking...especially when you give me a gift like this..."

"That's... the way I feel, Ami," he cleared his throat. "There's not much you can do to change that. But you don't have to see it... as a threat. It's not."

She considered that. Finally, she said, "You're handling this... very maturely. I'm impressed, Ani."

He blushed. "Maybe you can cut me a little slack, when my crush becomes a bit... too obvious for comfort?"

Her smile widened. "I might be able to do that." She gave his hand a squeeze and said, "I'm glad we talked. I needed to know where we stand."

"I do. I want you to be happy more than anything else. And I want us to stay friends." Anakin felt a rush of relief. She knew how he felt, and they would still be close. Things had worked out as well as he had dared hope.

Amidala took the crystal out of the box again and placed it on the table in front of them. He still thought it was the perfect gift.

-->Go to Chapter Six

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