The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : THE PHANTOM MENACE ERA

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Missing Images
Part 3/7

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Two years later (Ani - 12; Ami - 17)

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Anakin fidgeted in his chair, his impatience increasing. Obi-Wan was in the next room waiting. Anakin knew that the two of them would have to leave on their mission soon, and it looked like Amidala was going to miss their scheduled holo-chat. Even if she initiated a transmission now, they would only have a few minutes to talk.

They had missed each other before, of course. Plenty of times. They were both so busy that it had to be expected.

Yet he was disappointed every time. Letters were okay, but still a poor substitute for being able to talk to her. That never failed to brighten his days or lift his spirits.

He had already missed his mother earlier this week. He had been upset... but not that upset. And that bothered him. A lot.

He had never stopped missing her. Or thinking about her. But he felt as though he was becoming accustomed to life without her. The torrent of emotions that had accompanied every thought of his mother had greatly subsided. The guilt of leaving her behind; the fear that something would happen to her - they seemed like distant dreams, echoes of something that no longer existed.

I shouldn't feel that way. Should I? Anakin couldn't be certain. I'm supposed to feel bad about this, aren't I? He and Obi-Wan had talked about it many times. His Master was always sympathetic, telling him not to hide from his emotions, that they could deal with them together. After each conversation, Anakin felt much better.

Other times, though, he felt the nagging doubts. Like now. Anakin stared at the blank holoviewer. Why did he still feel so strongly about Amidala? He didn't have to worry about her at all. She had no problem taking care of herself. She was surrounded by her handmaidens, advisors, and countless others on a daily basis.

Who does Mom have? He had left her completely alone, a slave to Watto.

He had Obi-Wan. And Amidala. And a few other friends. She had... C-3PO? He remembered the last time he had spoken to his mother. She kept up a brave face, but it was evident that she missed him terribly. It was depressing.

Anakin knew he shouldn't dwell on these thoughts. His fear, sadness, and hopelessness were to be brought under control as a part of his training. Mace Windu and Yoda even mentioned his mother specifically when he meditated with them. He had to be fully at peace; his destructive emotions could only do more harm than good.

Nevertheless, it seemed callous to let the Jedi simply train those feelings out of him. He wished he could go see her, but was certain that the Council would take any such request as a sign of weakness. Obi-Wan understood better than they did, but Anakin didn't want to put him in a difficult position.

At least they left him alone about Amidala. He guessed they weren't worried about her because he didn't have so many "negative" emotions regarding their relationship. He was eternally grateful for that - at least she was completely separate from his life as a Jedi. He needed someone like that.

Anakin glanced at the holo in resignation. Obi-Wan came into the room, his bag packed for the journey. "It's time to leave, Anakin."

"Yes, Master." Anakin shut the holo off, grabbed his own bag, and followed Obi-Wan out of the room.

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