The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : THE CLONE WARS ERA

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Perfect Imperfections

by Daenarrah

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Summary: Despite the marks the war has left on him, Anakin will continue to be her husband. And Padmé wouldn't love him any other way.
Time Frame: Clone Wars. Missing scene from Obsession.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Anakin Skywalker or Padmé Amidala. They’re both property of Uncle George.

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“Please, don’t be angry with me?” Anakin said, looking Padmé in the eyes. “I’m just so tired and the war-”

“Sh.” Padmé silenced him with a finger to his lips. “It’s okay.” She then gave him a soft smile as she propped herself up on her elbow and looked lovingly at him. “We don’t have to make love every time we see each other. I know the war takes a lot out of you. Sometimes it’s nice to just lie here and hold each other.”

Anakin nodded, reaching out to cup her face. A somber expression came to his. “You know I hate being so far away from you, and when I finally see you… I always want you so badly. I want more than anything to…” His voice gave out and he couldn’t say anymore.

He didn’t have to finish the sentence for Padmé to know all too well what he was referring to. She felt the same way and always looked forward to the times that they could be together, expressing their love for each other.

But not tonight; Anakin truly was exhausted. And while her desire for him burned in her heart, Padmé knew what he needed more was a reprieve.

“I know, but not tonight. There are times when it’s best to rest and take a break from more ardent activities. We still have time.”

A half smile covered Anakin’s mouth and he closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. “Thank you.” Opening them up briefly, he pulled her to him for a kiss. It was one that quickly turned passionate and both felt the flames rise within them. Anakin, however, broke the kiss and turned his head away with a groan. As much as it pained him to say no to his wife he felt he had no other choice. His body and mind were too sore.

Padmé knew that and rested her head in the crook of his neck. “Sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be,” he whispered back. “It’s not your fault.” His alloy hand reached over to caress her hair. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You could never do that, Ani,” Padmé told him, looking up at him with all the love and adoration she felt shining in her eyes. “You always make me happy, no matter what you do.” She then brought her hand up and rubbed her knuckles across his cheek.

A comfortable silence fell over them while they stared at each other. Padmé took this opportunity to take in Anakin’s features and take note of the ways he had changed since the last time she had seen him.

“What is it?” he quietly asked after a few moments.

“Nothing,” Padmé whispered with a slight shake of her head.

Anakin knew there was more but he was too tired to question her further. He knew she’d tell him eventually, if she thought it important enough. So, he laid there content with watching her and whatever was on her mind.

Slowly, Padmé ran her fingers along the edge of his jaw line, up towards his ear. “I’m looking at my husband and how handsome he is,” she gave her answer, her fingers coming to rest on the scar above his eye.

“Even with this?” he asked, his metal fingers coming up to join hers and tracing over the burn mark. When Padmé didn’t say anything Anakin went on. “I know you don’t like it. I saw it on your face when I arrived. Not even the moonlight could hide that expression from me.”

“I’ll get used to it,” she told him with a shrug, not wanting to admit he was right. She didn’t have to. He guessed the answer but she knew it was what came with fighting in the war. She traced the scar herself now. “It’ll be one more thing I love about you.”

Normally he’d give her a devilish grin and remark about how he could give her plenty of other things to love about him if she’d let him show her. But tonight he didn’t have the energy. “Only you could love me with all my battle wounds and imperfections,” he said, his voice raw.

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” Padmé’s tone was light and matter-of-fact. “It’s what makes you, you.”

“It’s what makes me, me,” Anakin echoed her with a smile, too tired to do anything but agree.

Silence fell over them again. Anakin continued to watch her contently while she continued on with her appraisal of his features. Only this time it was different. She had gazed upon his face many times - in person, on the HoloNet and in the small holocubes she kept carefully hidden - but now it was like she was discovering him anew, all over again. She didn’t know if it was the way the light from the lanterns scattered about the room danced across his face or if it was the relaxed, sedate way in which he lay there and looked at her.

The passion he usually greeted her with - that would quickly consume them both- was absent. It lay dormant within his heart, subdued and without regret that it didn’t stoke the fires that kept him going day after day, knowing someday he’d return to her again. They smoldered as embers until they burnt out leaving Anakin in the state he was now.

It was one Padmé rarely saw and, without realizing, she delighted in the way he lay there - looking innocent, open and exposed. She reveled, almost like a young child, at the gift before her - a chance to see him for who he really was. Not the Hero With No Fear, not the best fighter pilot in the galaxy and not the Jedi’s Chosen One, but her husband, Anakin Skywalker.

And she got to see him with all his flaws and imperfections.

Her touch light, she skimmed over the scar once more. She stared at it, not knowing how long he’d had it; he wouldn’t tell. But she could tell it was still fairly new. It stood out against his skin loud and red and angry. She grinned slightly when Anakin closed his eyes as she followed the smooth mark down over his lid and to his cheek.

When he opened them neither said a word. They exchanged glances and a trace of a grin pulled at the corners of Anakin’s mouth then was gone. He continued to watch her still not saying anything - he was just too tired to speak - and letting her continue on with her gentle exploration.

Her fingers ran lightly across his jaw line again, over his chin and to his other cheek. Once there she tilted his head so that she could see the two small scars that left a broken “V” on his face. She traced her fingertips over these as well noting how much smaller they were than the other one. Dare she say it, she found it remarkable and yet unsettling that they came from the same fight and from the same weapon. This Asajj Ventress truly was a master of her lightsaber. Padmé’s thoughts then traveled to how dangerous the fight must have been. She quickly pushed it away, not allowing it to disrupt this precious moment she had with her husband, and ran her fingers over the plane of his cheek before reaching up with one digit to touch the scars once more.

Like she had already said, she would get used to them.

Padmé then ran her fingers down Anakin’s neck. She looked up when he shuddered and smiled to see him gazing at her with heavy-lidded eyes. “You can’t fall asleep on me yet,” she said.

“I won’t,” he whispered languidly. “I promise.”

More unspoken words passed between them and Padmé knew, by the look in his eyes, that he was enjoying this softer level of intimacy they were sharing. Just her touch on his face and the tender, inquisitive look she wore was soothing and comforting. It reminded him of something he had not had in several long months - peace.

And Padmé knew he would continue to have it this night as long as she continued her gentle ministrations.

Resuming her exploration, she traced the lines of every scar that decorated his chest. There weren’t many but enough to wonder what the story was behind each one. She decided she’d ask him to tell her someday, she wouldn’t do it now.

Moving downward she encountered the alloy pieces that made up his right hand. Looking at it, she ran her fingers over his starting where the metallic knuckles met the prosthetic base and down to the tips. She repeated the motion several times while taking in the muted light and shadows that fell over the golden appendage from the glow of the room’s lantern.

Gently wrapping her fingers around Anakin’s hand, Padmé lifted it up and maneuvered it so that it stood against hers. She held them there, fingers to alloy fingers, palm to alloy palm while she observed how small her flesh hand was in comparison to his metal one. His was no different in size than his own real hand and it was very much a part of his body. It didn’t matter that this one was made out of alloy and wires and sensors. Padmé forgot about all that; it wasn’t important. This time, however, she wanted to take in the differences and marvel and love them for what they were.

Flexing her fingers against Anakin’s his instinctively reacted, mimicking hers so that they curled slightly over the tips. Padmé bent hers more, bringing his down further, then straightened them until they were pressed hand to hand again. She brought hers flush with his and splayed their fingers out, enjoying the feel of warm flesh against cool metal - enjoying the feel of her hand against his.

All the while she could feel Anakin’s eyes on her as he lay there saying nothing. No whispers, no questions, no playful remarks, nothing. She knew he was tired but deep down she knew it was something more.

Anakin didn’t want to disturb Padmé in the assessment she had set herself upon. Her soft ministrations soothed his haggard body further and he took pleasure in watching with her simple explorations. Her eyes danced with an innocent wonder he had never seen in the three years they had been married and somehow he knew she was seeing him in a way she never had before. It caused warm tendrils of love to flow through him. It also revealed to him a side of his wife he rarely saw, one away from the political arena where she could just be wife, lover, comfort, and his home. She could be a woman lying in the warm embrace of her husband and enjoying the opportunity to see him for what he was, the man who loved her.

Padmé relaxed her hand and then intertwined her fingers with Anakin’s in a slow deliberate fashion. Firmly, but gently, holding it she leaned down and brought the back of his hand up to her lips for a kiss. Clasped together, she then placed them where his hand once lay on top the comforter and brought herself down to nestle in close to him, her head lying comfortably on his chest.

“Do I pass your inspection,” he asked turning to rest his chin atop her head. “Does everything meet your approval?”

A small chuckle escaped her lips and he felt her smile. “It always does, Ani,” she said then looked up at him. “You know that.”

He gave her a small nod and said quietly, “I just don’t ever want to disappoint you.”

“And I told you, you won’t. You’ll always make me happy. There isn’t anything that will change that.” She then squeezed his hand to reassure that.

“Are you sure?” Anakin asked, searching her eyes for any hint of uncertainty

“Yes, I’m sure,” Padmé answered. “I know this war has taken a lot out of you.” She looked pointedly at the scar above his eye then back at him. “I know what it’s done to you. But I’ll be okay with it. I have to be. Because if not then how can I be here with you and love you so much? And love everything about you.” She squeezed his hand once more.

“Like I said, only you could love me with all my flaws and imperfections,” Anakin said with a slight grin.

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way,” she said with full-hearted conviction.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t.”

“Neither would I,” Padmé said, looking into sleepy eyes. “I love you for who you are, Anakin, flaws, imperfections and all.” She then leaned up to kiss him. “And to me you’re perfect,” she added before capturing his lips with hers.

“Thank you,” Anakin whispered after breaking the kiss. “I love you too.”

“Get some sleep,” Padmé whispered, though, her voice was stern.

“Yes, Milady,” he answered then closed his eyes.

Padmé rested her head on Anakin’s chest once more and snuggled up close when he wrapped his arm tight around her. Looking down, she saw their hands still intertwined together and she smiled.

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