The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : THE PHANTOM MENACE ERA

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Missing Images
Part 1/7

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This takes place at the end of TPM. Anakin is 9. Amidala is 14.

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It was the day after Qui-Gon's funeral and the mood from that event could still be felt throughout Theed. The memories of the Jedi Master, as well as others lost in the battle, were almost palpable to the Naboo people. Mourning and loss draped the palace.

But, today was a new day. There was a resoluteness to work through those feelings - to move on, but not forget. Preparations for the morning's parade and celebration began, and the somber silence of the previous night slowly gave way...

... except in the quarters assigned to Anakin and Obi-Wan. The two had been up for hours, with few words exchanged between them. Both were overwhelmed by the grief and confusion that had accompanied Qui-Gon's death; neither wished to broach the subject with the other. Obi-Wan decided to focus on the duties he had to attend to this morning.

"Anakin, we must prepare for the parade. I need to give you your Padawan haircut."

"Okay...I mean, yes, Master."

Anakin sat uncertainly in a chair in the middle of the room, while Obi-Wan looked for the clippers. He was going to have to adjust to calling Obi-Wan by that title. It still felt strange. Anakin glanced over his shoulder at his bed. A new set of Jedi robes lay there.

I once had a dream that I was a Jedi... the words he said to Qui-Gon ran through his mind repeatedly. Would he look like the man he saw in that dream once Obi-Wan was finished?

Anakin was suddenly possessed with an urge to run to the mirror for a last look at himself. But it was too late. Obi-Wan had found the clippers, and was headed over to him. What does it matter anyway? he wondered to himself. It's just my hair...and my clothes...

Obi-Wan began to work on his Padawan's hair. For a time, snipping noises were the only sounds in the room.

Although he seemed distant to Anakin, Obi-Wan's thoughts were completely focused on the boy. He was unwavering in his commitment to make Anakin a Jedi - to prove the doubters on the Council wrong and Qui-Gon right. The skepticism he had felt earlier was forgotten. Anakin's "lucky" actions in the space battle had solidified Obi-Wan's belief in the boy's innate connection to the Force. He now held the responsibility for molding and directing that power.

After 16 years of being Qui-Gon's Padawan, he now had to rededicate his life to Anakin.

Anakin squirmed in the chair. Obi-Wan realized he had been so deep in thought that he had stopped cutting. He quickly resumed, hoping that his pensiveness wasn't making Anakin too uncomfortable.

Anakin relaxed a little once Obi-Wan started working again. He didn't want to break the silence in the room...maybe Obi-Wan just needed the time to think.

Anakin was realizing that he didn't know Obi-Wan at all. Well, except for the fact that Obi-Wan didn't seem to like him much. That scared him. Anakin was beginning to wonder if he had made the right choice in leaving home.

Will I ever see you again? Anakin wasn't sure that even Qui-Gon understood how difficult it was to walk away from his mother. But the Jedi had tried to make things easier on him - taking time to talk and explain things to him, despite everything else he had to worry about. Anakin had felt that Qui-Gon would take care of him no matter what.

But now, Qui-Gon was gone. As unthinkable as it was, attending the Jedi's funeral had been almost as hard as leaving his mother. The only bright spot was the news that the Obi-Wan would train him. Anakin couldn't remember being so relieved about anything. Where would he have gone if they hadn't changed their minds?

But Obi-Wan wasn't Qui-Gon. And as much as he had wanted to leave Tatooine, as much as he had hated being a slave, the question, Should I have stayed home? refused to go away.

"Anakin?"

"What? I mean... yes, Master?" Anakin hoped that Obi-Wan hadn't said his name more than once.

"I need you to hold this lock of hair. I'm almost finished with the rest of your cut."

Anakin grabbed the strand obediently. He assumed that it would become his Padawan braid.

As he completed his work, Obi-Wan felt he should make some conversation with his Padawan. He wasn't exactly sure where to begin.

After a deep breath, Obi-Wan asked, "Why do you want to be a Jedi, Anakin?"

Anakin blinked, unable to think of a "good" reason. Finally, he settled on the truth. "I've dreamt about it."

Obi-Wan had expected a longer answer, but supposed that Anakin was only giving him the truth. He didn't think there was much knowledge of the Jedi on the Outer Rim.

Anakin, however, misinterpreted Obi-Wan's silence. Did I say the wrong thing?

"It must have been difficult to leave your mother..." Obi-Wan cut the statement off when he felt Anakin stiffen in the chair. Maybe this was the wrong approach. Maybe Anakin didn't want to be pushed right now.

"Yeah, it was hard... but she... and Qui-Gon thought it was the right thing to do..."

A pause. Then Obi-Wan, with not a little flair, announced, "It's finished. I dare say that you look like a Jedi already."

Anakin let go of the lock of hair he had been holding and dashed over to the mirror. It looked... better than he expected. His hair had never been so short, and the spikes were a little funny. But he liked it.

He fingered the long strand and looked at Obi-Wan through the mirror. His Master gave him a slight smile and crouched beside him to start the braid.

But now that he was in front of the mirror, Obi-Wan took notice of his own Padawan braid... a braid that was no longer necessary or appropriate. Obi-Wan went to get the scissors again. He came in front of the mirror and took hold of his braid. He hesitated.

Anakin watched Obi-Wan struggle, and felt pangs of sympathy for him. He had known Qui-Gon for much longer. This time, Anakin decided to break the silence.

"Obi-Wan, sir... I mean, Master." Anakin paused. Obi-Wan looked at him expectantly. "Maybe you should keep the braid. It will remind you of Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "It isn't that simple, Anakin. I can no longer wear the braid because I am no longer a student. I must look like a Knight now." Obi-Wan placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I do understand your thinking, though - I appreciate it. There will be many other things to remind us of Qui-Gon."

Anakin wasn't so sure about that. He hadn't known Qui-Gon long enough.

But he wanted to ask a different question. "Are you nervous about becoming a Knight?" Obi-Wan looked surprised at the question, and Anakin tried to take it back. "Never mind. Why would you be nervous? This is what you've wanted your whole life!"

Obi-Wan stared at Anakin, seeing him for the first time on his own terms instead of in reference to Qui-Gon. He knew that last question from his Padawan had been self-referential - Anakin had dreamed of being a Jedi, and Obi-Wan couldn't imagine how nervous the boy was now. He had lost an enormous amount in an extraordinarily short period of time. To his credit, Anakin had handled it very well. But that didn't mean that worrisome emotions weren't under the surface.

Much danger I fear in his training. Obi-Wan knew that those emotions were why the Council had initially refused Anakin as a Padawan. Loss and abandonment were a perilous foundation to begin the training on. As his Master, Obi-Wan had to start dealing with that immediately. Anakin needed someone he could count on... someone whom he wouldn't be separated from.

"Anakin, I think we're both nervous." Obi-Wan rested his hand on the boy's shoulder again. "This isn't the situation either of us had counted on. But as Jedi, we must be able to adapt to each situation, and make it work. The Force has brought us together, and we have to trust that - and each other." Obi-Wan gave Anakin his first genuine smile since Qui-Gon's death.

Anakin didn't say anything. Obi-Wan continued.

"I apologize for my recent behavior, Anakin. I've allowed myself to be distracted. The fact is, we're family now. You can depend on me always, for anything." With a wink, Obi-Wan added, "And don't hesitate to let me know if I'm ever... distracted again."

Anakin found himself returning his Master's smile. He was grateful for the reassurances. "Yes, Master. I'm glad we can be friends."

Obi-Wan did Anakin's braid. After a moment's thought, Obi-Wan gave Anakin the scissors. "Would you please do the honors, Padawan?"

Anakin held the braid and cut it as close to Obi-Wan's scalp as he could get. He held the hair out to Obi-Wan.

"Hold on to that for me, Anakin."

Anakin nodded happily. He had thought the braid would be a reminder of Qui-Gon. Now it was a symbol of his new relationship with his Master - of his new life as a Jedi.

Half an hour later...

Stand straight.

Shoulders back.

Arms crossed.

Eyes narrowed.

Hmmm... it still doesn't look right. Anakin was alone in his room while Obi-Wan talked to the Council. He stood in front of the mirror, in his full Jedi regalia, mimicking the serious look Obi-Wan so often wore. He and Obi-Wan would be among the leaders in the parade, marching just behind the Queen and Boss Nass. Anakin wanted the crowds to see a Jedi - a warrior. Not the slave boy who had accidentally saved the day.

He squinted at himself. He wasn't convinced.

A beep at the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Ani, it's me. Is this a good time?"

Anakin's face lit up. He and Amidala hadn't talked much since leaving Coruscant.

Amidala entered the room dressed in the formal white gown she planned to wear to the parade. Her hair was down and her make-up hadn't been started. Anakin openly stared at her. He didn't care what she said - if she wasn't an angel, they didn't exist.

"Wow," she said, noting his new appearance. "I leave you for a day, and come back to find a Jedi. Very impressive look, Ani."

He beamed with pride. "I just got my haircut and clothes this morning. But you haven't seen my 'Jedi look' yet."

"Your 'Jedi look'?"

"Yeah, like Obi-Wan." Anakin ran through the checklist - posture, shoulders, arms, eyes - and gave her the most serious stare he could muster. "I'm going to look like this at the parade."

Amidala tried, but he looked so amusing in the pose that she couldn't stop a giggle from escaping. Anakin narrowed his eyes further for that offense. Amidala gave up and burst out laughing. He started laughing too.

"I'm sorry, Ani -"

"No, it's okay Pad... Your Highness. I don't know how he does that all the time. It's hard." Anakin wasn't bothered at all. He loved to hear her laugh.

"Please don't call me that, Ani. Not in private."

"Which one? Padmé or Your Highness?"

"Both." Amidala paused thoughtfully. "There are very few people who feel comfortable just calling me Amidala."

"Don't you have a nickname?" Anakin asked. "People have called me Ani forever."

She shook her head no. "What do you think you should call me?"

"Ami," he said without hesitation. "It goes well with Ani."

Amidala was laughing again. "Fine. Ami it is." She walked over to sit in the chair, and he sat on the bed across from her. Her face became more serious. "Have you been all right, Ani? I know Qui-Gon's death must be dreadful for you."

Anakin sobered a bit as well. He realized that if she had asked that question just an hour earlier, he would have felt much, much worse.

"Well, I miss him a lot..."

"But?" Amidala prompted.

"But if Obi-Wan and I get along, things won't be so bad. And we were getting along this morning." Anakin pointed to Obi-Wan's braid, which was lying on his nightstand. "He's nicer than I thought... but I think about Qui-Gon... and my mother a lot."

Amidala placed her hand over his. "Ani, it's perfectly fine for you to miss Qui-Gon and your mother. Sometimes... good things come at a high price."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed. "Well, you're going to be a Jedi, but you gave up so much for it to happen... We've reclaimed our planet, but a heavy toll was paid to do so." She focused back on him. "We - both of us - can acknowledge the pain, but that shouldn't stop us from enjoying the good things ahead of us. That's what today's celebration is all about, Ani."

Anakin thought about it. "I guess that makes sense," he said, wondering how she had gotten so smart.

The comm link buzzed. Anakin pressed it, and heard Rabé's voice.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Your Highness, but we must begin your preparations soon."

"I'll be there in a minute, Rabé." Anakin shut off the link.

The Queen stood, readying herself to leave. "I'll see you at the parade, Ani. Maybe we can talk a little more at the reception."

His face fell in disappointment. "The Council wants us to leave as soon as the parade is over. This may be the last time we see each other..."

The sentence hung between them. Who knew when they would meet again? Amidala knelt down and gave him a long hug. "This isn't going to be the last time we see each other, Ani. Even if we don't get many opportunities, we'll definitely keep in touch, right?"

Anakin nodded numbly. How many goodbyes would he have to say?

"I mean it, Anakin. I want to hear all about your training, and your new friends..." She stared at him until he looked back and managed a smile. "I'll be thinking of you often, Ani," she said softly.

"I'll want to hear about you too...all the royal stuff you have to do," Anakin replied.

Amidala chuckled and gave him another hug. "It's a deal. Goodbye, Ani."

"Goodbye, Ami."

Amidala left the room.

Anakin watched the closed door for a few seconds. Then he went back over to the mirror. He tried his 'look' again. He might not be a Jedi yet, but he didn't see a slave anymore. That was enough for now.

-->Go to Chapter Two

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