The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : REVENGE OF THE SITH ERA

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Living in the Here and Now

by Daenarrah
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Summary: Changes to the past can't be made but there are always promises for the future. An Anakin and Padmé missing scene vignette.

Time Frame: Episode III

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Anakin Skywalker or Padmé Amidala. They’re both property of Uncle George.

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The turbolift wasn’t moving fast enough for Padmé’s liking. It seemed to be moving much slower than usual, especially now when she wanted to get up to her apartment after a long strenuous, and unexpected session in the Senate. It shouldn’t have surprised her that the Chancellor had called an emergency session to discuss the Separatist threat right after his rescue. The last thing on her mind, however, was wanting to listen to him drone on about what had to be done to stop General Grievous. It was the same debate over and over and every time the same decision was made: hunt him down and bring him to justice. It was never done, though, and Padmé was beginning to believe it never would be. So to hear the same argument repeat itself was not something Senator Amidala wanted to endure.

Besides, she had more pressing matters waiting for her at home, namely her husband who she had only seen briefly upon his return before she was ushered back into the Senate.

“I’ll see you back home when you’re done,” he had managed to whisper to her before she’d been so rudely torn away from his presence. Fortunately, it was Moteé who had come to get her, giving the young couple a knowing smile. Padmé didn’t know how she would’ve explained it to any of her senatorial colleagues had one of them found her in the arms of The Hero With No Fear, and in the shadow of a giant pillar no less. Reluctantly saying goodbye, the look she had given Anakin spoke volumes, asking if he’d be able to get away from the Temple so soon after returning.

“I promise,” he mouthed, his eyes intense, full of passion and determination. Oh yes, she’d be seeing her husband later. He’d make sure of that.

It made going into the session that much easier, but it was a miracle she was able to sit through it and not try and find some kind of excuse to leave. She did have ample reason to do so, or at least a good enough excuse or two: she wasn’t feeling well, or so she could say. She did still have the occasional bout or two with morning sickness, and the weight of her growing child was beginning to put a strain on her lower back. Her main reason, however, and one she could never reveal, was that she had a very handsome husband sitting at home waiting for her. One that she hadn’t seen in five months.

However, would he still be waiting, she pondered a moment when she finally left the Senate building and discovered it to be dark outside. ‘How long did the session last?!’ she wondered, her frustration mounting at the question. It had been mid-day when she went in, it was now well into nightfall.

Wasting no time, Padmé gave hurried farewells then quickly made her way to 500 Republica. Dismissing Ellé and Moteé for the night -- both knew their presence wasn’t needed anyway -- she then stepped into the turbolift and impatiently waited for the doors to close, all the while hoping Anakin would still be in their apartment waiting for her. ‘Why wouldn’t he be?’ she asked herself feeling the weight exchange as the lift continued in ascent. ‘I saw the look in his eyes back at the landing platform. He wants to see me as badly as I want to see him, amongst other things,’ she added with a sly grin.

As if sensing the mischievous thoughts that entered her mind the baby she carried gave her a sound kick, reminding her that he or she was there and were the first and foremost of importance. A loving smile spread across Padmé’s face as she placed her hands lightly on her protruding belly. “Yes, Little One, I know you’re there.” Letting out a long sigh she stared absently at the night lights of Coruscant. ‘Oh Ani, there’s so much we have to talk about.’

Tapping her foot on the floor of the lift Padmé continued to scan the city lights, her excitement growing and ready to bubble over as she got closer to her destination. The lift still wasn’t moving fast enough for her liking. Letting out another sigh, and rubbing her palms across where her baby was nestled safe and warm, she knew it wouldn’t do her any good to be any more frustrated than she already was. She couldn’t make the turbolift go any faster.

‘I’m certain a Jedi could,’ she thought, remembering the many talents Anakin excelled at from using the Force, including the few she knew the council would be terribly shocked and appalled by. Not that they’d ever find out, of course. Those were talents meant only for the two of them to share. Padmé blushed remembering the last time they had been together and Anakin had used one of his many special “tricks”. It had left her breathless and trembling all over and Anakin beaming with pride knowing he could make his wife that way. His talent with the Force had made that first night together after so long one she would never forget.

Finally reaching the floor of her apartment, Padmé put the memory away and hurried out of the lift before the door was even fully open. She had just one thing on her mind, seeing Anakin. Moving as fast as her pregnant body would allow, Padmé walked into the living room, hoping to see the smiling face of her husband there to greet her. What she saw stopped her in her step.

There on the couch, his legs stretched out in front of him and his back resting comfortably against the furniture’s soft curve, sat Anakin, fast asleep, his head cocked slightly back and to the left. His longer and slightly unruly hair fell away from his face, allowing Padmé to take in his features. The first thing she noticed was his strong jaw line, set firm with determination even in sleep. Next was the scar from the battle wound he received from Asajj Ventress. A harsh reminder to keep up with his saber skills as he had told her once.

Watching Anakin a few moments longer and enjoying the sight of the man she loved more than anything sleeping peacefully before her, a smile quirked at the corners of Padmé’s mouth. ‘He must be exhausted.’ Slowly she began to move towards him. ‘All his time on the front lines. Does he ever sleep?’

The thought of him out there risking his life for the Republic wiped the smile from her face and sent a shuddering chill down her spine before tightening into a knot in her stomach. She didn’t want to think about that right now. She didn’t want to think about how he faced death every day or the real possibility that he might not come back to her. There were other things she wanted to focus on. Forcibly shaking the unwelcome thoughts away, all she wanted to do was drink in the sight of her husband on the couch in front of her.

“I never get to see you this way,” she whispered, moving a few more steps closer to him. It was a rare occurrence indeed to see Anakin looking so relaxed and peaceful. The precious moments they did get together were always edged with a constant tension and sense of urgency that they’ve never been able to shake. Intangible, they could always feel it, charging the air around them, reminding them of its presence and letting them know they could never harness it and bring it under their control. Instead, it reminded them that though the few moments they stole for themselves were fleeting, few and far between; their time ultimately belonged to someone else: the Senate, the Jedi, the war. They were never truly free to spend their time foolishly and they wondered if they’d ever have a moment just for them - the two of them and not the galaxy. They wondered if they’d ever stop living on borrowed time.

Padmé didn’t think so, not for a while at least. She knew Anakin thought the same thing. Rubbing her hands over her belly again, she knew that now their time was even more precious and would be stolen like never before... at least until someone found out the truth.

Padmé didn’t want to worry about that now. All she wanted to focus on was Anakin. He was home, for how long she didn’t know and at that moment she didn’t care. She had him with her again and she decided she wasn’t going to let the troubles of the galaxy interfere with them tonight. It was the same vow they had made countless times, tonight would be no different.

Carefully sitting down on the couch next to him, Padmé removed the datapad that rested loosely in his hands. He must have been going over the latest reports on the war while waiting for her to come home. Padmé frowned at this. There wasn’t going to be any talk of the war. Not when they had more important things to discuss - like the child they created that was going to drastically change their lives. She was thrilled that Anakin was so excited by the news. She knew how badly he wanted a family to make up for the one he lacked as a child. She was afraid at first he was upset when no words came from his mouth after she had told him. She could see all the thoughts he had about it race so clear and brightly in his eyes. Padmé wondered if telling him at that moment might not have been the best thing. He had just come back from a stressful mission; throwing news of a baby on top of that might have been too much. Her fears were quickly defused when she saw that smile she loved so much break out across his face.

“This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life.” Those words she would hold on to forever, cradling them dearly in her memories.

Looking at him, if she didn’t know better she could say a small semblance of that same smile was curled up on his lips right now. ‘He must be dreaming about the baby,’ she mused, a small smile coming to her own mouth.

A long moment passed where Padmé was content to just sit and watch her sleeping husband. Walking in and finding him like this was a memory she’d tuck away and cherish.

Placing the datapad on the couch behind her Padmé looked down at the black leather gauntlet Anakin wore. It was new; this was one she had never seen before. She smiled, remembering how comfortable he was with his cybernetic arm. There were even times he liked to show it off. Especially after the latest improvements he would do to it. Gently taking his hand in hers, she examined the new gauntlet, admiring its detail. She noticed it was of better craftsmanship than his previous one. She also noticed it already showed the wear and tear of the war.

Done with her inspection, Padmé let go of his hand, placing it to rest back in his lap. She then looked up when she heard Anakin stir and let out a small sigh. Eager to see if he’d wake up, she was a bit disappointed when all he did was settle back into the couch again, resuming with the rest he obviously so desperately needed.

Padmé couldn’t be too upset about it though. Truth of the matter was she loved being able to watch him sleep. It was the one chance she got to see the hard lines and scars the war had decorated him with soften and all but disappear. Too many times when they were reunited she could clearly see the toll fighting in the trenches had taken on him. Gone was the man with the child-like face that she had fallen in love with. In his place now was one cut and shaped by the perils of war and who wore each new scar as a symbol of that. When Anakin was sleeping, that was when she was able to see the boy she first met all those years ago on Tatooine, and the lovestruck young man who stole her heart and eventually became her husband.

‘If only the galaxy could be this peaceful again.’ Lost in thought so she wasn’t quite aware of what she was doing, she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the top part of his scar.

“You and that scar,” Padmé heard Anakin mumble; she pulled back to see him turn his head towards her, fixing her with sleepy blue eyes. A warm yet slightly mocking grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. “I never knew you’d be so enamored with a battle wound. Maybe I should get more.”

“Don’t you dare!” Padmé protested, not seeing the humor in his words. “You have enough marks and scars as it is. I don’t want to see you come home with any more. You know how much I hate finding them. They’re reminders of how the government is failing to communicate as a body…and how each time could’ve been your last and I might never see you again.” Much to her dismay, tears began to well up in her eyes and she furiously blinked them away. She was not going to cry.

Feeling bad for getting Padmé upset, Anakin frowned, sat up and took her into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, placing a kiss on the side of her head. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I know how hard it is for you.”

“I’m sorry too, Ani.” Padmé said, nestling further into his embrace. “And I know it’s so much harder for you. You’re the one out there fighting every day, risking your life.” Letting out a sigh, she continued. “I think being pregnant makes me more emotional than usual sometimes.”

Anakin couldn’t help the silly smile that broke out across his face at hearing those words. ‘Pregnant. A father…Me.’ He held Padmé tighter, his head still reeling a bit from the news.

As if knowing what he was thinking, Padmé asked, “You are happy, aren’t you? About the baby?” She knew what his answer was but they didn’t get a chance to discuss it even the littlest bit before she was pulled away to the Senate.

Anakin pulled away to look at her, briefly giving her a perplexed look before it turned into one with a smile again. “You know I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, running his hand up and down her arm.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, finally removing any doubt from her mind.

“I told you, this is the happiest day of my life. I’m going to be a father.” Anakin couldn’t help but laugh a little bit with joy.

“But this is going to change everything, for both of us,” Padmé countered, distress finding its way into her voice.

“I don’t want to worry about that now,” Anakin stopped her, bringing a finger up to her lips. “All I want to think about is you, me, and our baby.” Looking down at her swollen belly, he gently placed his hand on it then began slowly running his fingers along its soft curve. He marveled at the life that grew inside, the life that was created from their love. “I love you,” he said, looking at her.

Padmé could see his total, undying devotion to her burning in his eyes. It never ceased to unnerve her whenever he looked at her like that. But there was something more this time. A light, a kind of spark she had never seen before, and it flamed into a passion and determination she knew was all for her and their baby. A determination that told her he wouldn’t let any harm come to them. “I love you too,” she told him in return, leaning forward to give him a passionate kiss.

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“How far along are you?” he asked after breaking the kiss and pulling her into his arms again. His hand still rested on her abdomen.

“About seven months,” Padmé replied, a small grin curling up on her mouth as fond memories came back to her.

“Seven months?” He quickly calculated the time in his head and his eyes widened with realization. “That-that means you were pregnant at- When we were at…” Anakin stammered out trying to look down to see her face.

“Varykino, yes,” Padmé finished for him, snuggling even closer into his chest. “I had just found out right after I returned. I saw a med droid because I wasn’t feeling well. Imagine my surprise when it told me I was around two months along. I had no idea.”

A look of puzzlement crossed Anakin’s face and he frowned at her words. “How could you not know?”

Padmé shrugged and tried her best to explain. “There were no indications. Nothing was out of the ordinary for me.”

Anakin nodded in understanding even though he really didn’t. “And you had no idea at Varykino?”

Padmé shook her head. “None.”

An awkward smirk lifted the one side of his mouth and a feeling of awe settled over him. “You were two months pregnant and we didn’t even know it,” he said in wonderment.

“No, we didn’t,” she said, light-heartedly, in return.

Anakin thought about when she must have gotten pregnant and the smirk he already wore grew bigger. He knew exactly when it happened. That smirk became a full lopsided smile, knowing the child he and Padmé had created out of their love had been present while they had been together on Naboo.

His thoughts, however, soon turned to a darker, sadder route when he thought about how far along Padmé actually was. Seven months - and she had known about it the last five. That meant… Further realization hit him hard right in the gut and he felt a sharp pang of disappointment and guilt well up inside him. “You’ve been here alone, all this time dealing with this by yourself.” He started his voice low and distressed. He didn’t know if Moteé and Ellé knew and it didn’t matter. All he knew was that he hadn’t been there at a time when he was sure she needed him most. “I’m so sorry, Padmé. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me.” Anakin held her tighter, never wanting to let go, afraid of what else he might miss. “Damn this war. Damn it for keeping me away from you.”

“It’s all right, Ani,” Padmé soothed, reaching up to run her hand along his jaw. She started to say more but Anakin interrupted.

“No it’s not!” He pulled away again to look at her, his expression pained and serious. “I should have been here to help you through those months after you found out, to make sure everything was okay. I know what those months can be like. I saw enough of it when I still lived in the slave quarters on Tatooine, not to mention some of the planets I’ve been on over the years. I should have been here, Padmé. As the father that’s my responsibility. I’m so sorry,” he finished, his voice sounding broken.

Padmé watched as her husband seemed to fall apart in front of her and her heart went out to him. His voice had an urgency and desperation she hadn’t quite been expecting and his eyes searched hers for forgiveness and understanding for not being there. She knew there was nothing he could have done after she found out she was pregnant. Even if she had gotten a message to him what would have been the chance he would have found a way to come home? Slim to none. He couldn’t tell the Council or the Chancellor his secret wife was pregnant and he had to go home to be with her.

Yes, it’s what she would have wanted because she had been scared those first couple of months after she had found out. If it hadn’t been for her handmaidens she didn’t know how she would have made it through. She still felt alone though and on more times than she could remember she wanted Anakin there with her. It’s what they both would have wanted, but she knew it would have been impossible.

None of that mattered now and she had to make sure Anakin understood that. She had to make sure he knew he didn’t fail her which she was sure he felt he had.

“I told you, it’s all right.” Cupping his face in her hand and rubbing her thumb across his cheek, she hoped the action would comfort him. “You’re here now, Ani. That’s all that matters…and that’s all I want to think about. You, me, the baby. Us, here, right now. No war, no worrying about something we wouldn’t have had any control over anyway.” She then smiled at him, warm and loving and telling him everything was all right. “Just the three of us now, nothing else.”

“But-” Anakin started.

“No buts,” Padmé cut him off firmly. “What’s done is done. We can’t change it and I for one don’t want to dwell on it. Not now, not tonight. I just want to spend time with my husband and share in his happiness knowing we have something very special to look forward to.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Anakin closed his eyes and leaned down to rest his forehead against Padmé’s. “I love you,” he said again, breathing out the words and letting the Force take away his anxiety.

“I know, and I love you too,” Padmé returned the sentiment once more.

Opening his eyes, Anakin looked down at Padmé’s swollen belly; another smile broke across his face while he placed his hand gently on it once again. The smile widened and his heart burst with pride, love and an unmistakable feeling of wonderment when he felt a slight flutter float beneath his fingers. At that moment he knew, he might not have been there the past five - seven months but he was going to make up for it no matter what. He swore nothing was going to keep him away from his wife and child. He wasn’t going to miss out on anything more. He’d find a way if it was the last thing he did. Everything he’d do from that moment on was going to be for Padmé and the baby.

Confident and relieved with the decision he had made he focused on what Padmé had said, remembering they were the same words he had spoken as well. Both just wanted to think about the three of them, nothing else. He was fine with that. When the time came, they would worry and think about the changes having a baby would place on them, as well as any repercussions that would inevitably come along once the truth was discovered. But all that was for another time. Right now Anakin had only one thought that came to the front of his mind.

“What do you think we’re having, a boy or a girl?”

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