The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : REVENGE OF THE SITH ERA

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Defining Alone

by Edie
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Rating: PG-13
Summary: A short piece on Anakin's final thoughts at the end of Revenge of the Sith. Definite spoilers. If you're avoiding, stay away!
Disclaimer: Not mine, very sadly. If so, I would be filthy rich and living in a mansion with Hayden Christensen somewhere. As it is, I'm just a lowly student. Don't sue!
Author's Notes and Dedication: This is my first foray into the Star Wars universe. Please feel free to correct anything I've done wrong. :) To Brandon, merely because you remind me so much of Anakin.

Defining Alone

She is gone and, without her, he is nothing.

Staring blindly through the glass at the partially constructed Death Star, he feels completely and utterly lost. He knows nothing here and he has doubts. Even the sound of his breathing is foreign, so harsh and metallic. His body is gone, as scarred and deformed as he feels, but that is nothing in comparison to the hole in his heart. For the first time in his life, he knows what it is like to be truly empty.

She is gone and it is his fault.

All day long, his mind has been assaulted by visions of her funeral - a funeral he had meant with the whole of his being to prevent. He gave up - is giving up - everything for her and in the end... for what? For the most amazing creature he has ever known to slip so silently away beneath the crushing weight of his grip?

And she is beautiful in death. He can see her now, seemingly merely sleeping as they carry her away. Her hands clutch the necklace he had made for her, painstakingly carved from the japor snippet, and rest lightly against the swell of her belly - against his unborn child. Clenching his eyes shut as if to block the image, he inhales sharply.

She is gone but there is anger there as well.

He welcomes it; lets its icy cold grip take hold of him. She had betrayed him - him! - by leading Obi Wan to him; had left him to fight for his own life. She had refused all that he offered to her but did it matter? Was she even worthy of the life he could have given her and their child? Of the power they could have had together? She had been too soft and perhaps she had never even loved him.

Anakin! You're breaking my heart!

And yet...? He doesn't believe himself, not really. Even now, it's hard to imagine that a love as pure as his couldn't have been returned; that all she had ever said to him had been lies. He had never sensed that from her and he would have. He knew everything about her and he knows... Beneath his helmet, a solitary tear rolls down his disfigured cheek and disappears under the thick fabric of his uniform.

"Good-bye, my love," he whispers and the sound of his voice gives him a jolt.

She is gone but, in the end, he isn't sure which one of them went first.

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