The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : EPISODE III ERA (PRE-ROTS)

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L is for Love, Sweet Padmé

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Disclaimer: All characters and instances belong to the man George Lucas himself. Some of the plot mentioned is from my story A Secret it Shall Be.

Summary: Anakin's thoughts as he prepares to leave with Palpatine. Surprisingly not too mushy....seeing that Padmé is sleeping. All I can say is, George'd better give dear Hayden an honorable exit as Anakin...full of love for Padmé and remorse and such or I'm going to be REALLY PISSED. Anyway, please r/r, enjoy and be merry. Thanks for showing interest!

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L is for Love, Sweet Padmé

Anakin Skywalker lay awake in bed, eyes bloodshot and dry with anxiety and nerves. The still air in the room brought a thin layer of sweat to his forehead and upper lip and he shut his eyes tight. Visions of darkness and light fought a continuing battle in his head. Images of the Clone War and the newly formed Empire flashed over his eyes as he shut them, trying to block out everything.

Everything since that afternoon. Palpatine's words still hung heavy in his head.

"Join me Anakin. There's nothing left for you as a Jedi. You're only a tool for them. Join me, and together we will bring this balance to the force. The Dark Side is our ally, trust me."

He wished he could believe it wasn't true. He wished that all the kind and caring Jedi he had met had pleasant memories in his head. He wished Obi-Wan wasn't like his father. He wished Qui-Gon had never found him. Palpatine swam back into his memory. The chancellor, the emperor, a double-sided man who had lied all his life.

Much like he had.

Anakin swallowed hard and sat up in bed, eyes traveling across the room, looking for something that didn't exist. The blinds on the windows cast horizontal shadows over the floor and walls as speeders flew by. The Coruscant nightlife was muted through the transparisteel windows, yet Anakin wished for nose. The silence was deafening.

He stood up and paced in a small circle, chewing on his lip. Palpatine was leaving tonight. "Join me..." Anakin pressed his hands to his forehead, trying to shut out the image of the withered old man. "My ship is leaving tonight at dawn. Come with me, Anakin, come and build an empire with me. Together, we can control the entire galaxy, even more than my duties as Supreme Chancellor have. Come with me."

Sighing angrily, Anakin threw his hands to his sides and turned around to face the bed. His wife, his lovely, beautiful wife lay beside where he had been. Padmé's brown curls spilled out around her face, framing its intricate mold. She had one hand resting tenderly on her belly, which was swollen and heavy with child. Tears sprang to Anakin's eyes and he cursed under his breath. How could he leave this? This! His family, his love. This had been the one place in his life where he had been treated like a human being, and not a child. Padmé loved him as no one had ever loved him. Not even his mother.

His eyes lingered on Padmé's stomach, and his future child. It was going to be beautiful, more beautiful than Naboo, even. It would be his child, he and Padmé's both. He wanted to be there and hold it in his arms, feel the tiny heartbeat against his palm, and live his life with a child in one hand, and Padmé's hand clasped tightly in the other. It would be his own family.

But power...the Dark Side...was something so much stronger than family. It was so much more important...wasn't it?

Anakin wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and crawled back into bed. Padmé moved as the bed sagged beside her and she rolled over to face Anakin. "Are you alright," she asked, eyes still closed.

She moved closer to him and nestled her head at his shoulder. Pains in her stomach had been keeping her awake most nights. She needed rest. He could never burden her with the heaviness of these thoughts. "Yes, I'm fine," he said, brushing aside her hair and kissing her temple tenderly. He left his lips on her skin, and inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of her hair and skin.

He pulled back and stared passively at Padmé's angelic form. The moonlight mixed with the bright lights of Coruscant flowed gracefully over her skin. Anakin cocked his head and admired her beauty for the hundredth time in the past hour. His heart ripped in two and he bit his lip in silent pain.

Padmé, his loyal, strong, and beautiful Padmé. How would he tell her of the inner turmoil he'd been hiding for so many years? Being good was honorable and easy, but on the path of evil? Incredible power, knowledge, recognition. Anakin swallowed hard and looked down at the sheets below him. Deception, dishonor...breaking his marriage vows, leaving his beloved wife.

"Damn," Anakin hissed to himself as he stood from bed again. "Damn," he said again, gritting his teeth as his feet hit the warm carpeted floor. The hundreds of dark thoughts coursed through his brain again at maddening speed. Suddenly he was torn between every action. Killing Palpatine or embracing him, leaving his wife or making love to her, disobeying his master and destroying the Jedi.

Anakin ran out of the room, holding back screams of pain. His feet carried him through the hallway and into the sitting room where he ran out onto the balcony and slammed is fists on the railing.

The racing speeders below him, although now emitting noise, only aggravated him more. Two more hours. Two more hours, called tauntingly in his head and he knew Palpatine was waiting for him this very moment. "Join me, and together we will-"

"No!" Anakin cried into the night, tears of anguish and turmoil spilling over his sleep deprived eyelids. "No," he repeated in a whisper, lowering his head in his hands. "Padmé, think of Padmé. The baby... oh blazes, our child."

Anakin's already torn heart wrenched inside him, and he closed his eyes tight. Visions of the little being inside his love's bulging stomach brought more tears to his eyes. It was kicking now, Padmé had shown him just the other day. He could still feel her soft hand as she lifted his wrist and placed it over her warm, swollen belly.

"You can feel him inside, Ani. It's amazing! Oh, it's all coming so fast."

He had felt the kicks, tiny feet moving inside her. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of the little one. It had the strength of his mother already, and would be strong in the Force like his dad. So many times he and Padmé would lie in bed; she pressed lovingly against her husband, and Anakin's hand resting gently over her belly, whispering what he felt to her. He was happiest then. Free from everything else. Just Padmé, just Anakin, together, barely a word spoken, just heart beats and slow breaths.

Opening his eyes, Anakin took a deep breath. Still, the hollow monotonous voice taunted. "The Dark Side."

He cursed and walked back inside, the transparisteel door sliding closed behind him. He walked into their bedroom and to the closet where his few formal outfits hung next to the rainbow of Padmé's wardrobe. The collection of silks and satins hung silent in the dark. Slowly, Anakin reached his hand into the pocket of his dress pants and closed his fingers around something cold and sour with unpleasant thoughts. He lifted his hand and stared blankly at what he could barely see.

A lightsaber.

Only, it wasn't his, at least, not his icy blue blade, the handle worn and tattered from breakage and use. No, this one was different. It was black, yet held similar features of his blue one, which lay on the nightstand beside his pillow. Anakin clenched his teeth and ran his thumb over the ignition button.

He had constructed this lightsaber last week, a sheer act of rage and madness. He had told but one person about it. Not his master, nor any of the Jedi, or even his wife.

Only Palpatine knew, and Anakin remembered his eerie smile as he spoke the words, "Good, good young one. You're making progress."

"Progress," Anakin spat, speaking another single word into the night. His bare feet carried him back into the bedroom where Padmé lay, just as he left her. His thumb instinctively switched on the lightsaber, piercing the room with a red ray of deadly light. Anakin's eyes never left those hiding under Padmé's closed lids. Her face was tinted red now, as were the sheets, looking as though blood had been spilled over the entire room.

He would come back for her, Anakin thought innocently. Of course, he could he not come back for her? She was his life, and without her he would be a robot. They would rule the universe, as he had promised himself the morning after they wed. "They'd be admired." This was the only way to achieve his true destiny. No limitations, no rules, no code. Just himself, Palpatine, and Padmé.

His mind set, Anakin switched off the blade and dressed fully, pulling on his shirt and Jedi robes. Jedi...the word was meaningless now. It was a silly title, a restriction of one's true potential. He'd show them, he'd show them all.

Clipping on his utility belt, Anakin clasped his new lightsaber into place. He looked fleetingly at the silver frame of his former weapon, but quickly looked away.

All was done, except for one thing. He turned and walked to the bed, where he sat on the edge once more. Tears sprang to his eyes as he looked on her one last time. "I love you," he whispered earnestly into the still air of the room. "I'll love you forever Padmé, always know this. I leave you for the sake of our future, and I promise I'll be back...for you." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'll always be your protector my angel, my love, my Padmé. Goodbye."

Swallowing back sobs, Anakin stood and backed away from the bed. His shadow overlapped those from the blinds, covering Padmé in darkness. For fleeting seconds Anakin wanted to pull his robes off once more and lay in bed, where he should have been now. He wanted to wake up with her the next morning, warm and refreshed and void of his conflicting thoughts. But it was too late now. There was only one path that lay before him, and he must take it, even if it involved leaving his life behind him. "L is for love sweet Padmé," he added, in a a soft whisper. "Name our child to honor our destiny."

With a final tear, Anakin turned his back and walked out of the room. His footsteps echoed through the apartment and were silence with the swift closing of the door.

Padmé stirred as the last echoes of Anakin's departure echoed off the walls. She placed a hand over Anakin's empty pillow and drifted back off to sleep. "I love you too," she murmured into the night before slipping into the bliss of slumber.

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Tadaa! I hope that was an accurate enough "departure of Anakin to the dark side" story. I really don't want to see the lovely Hayden and Natalie break apart in such circumstances. Anyhoo, I would love it if all you readers would check on some of my other stories. Especially I've Missed You. Thanks for your time!

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