The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : EPISODE III ERA (PRE-ROTS)

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Coming Home

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How many different ways did I try to keep you with me? I did everything in my power to show you how much I loved you, but it wasn't enough. Now you are gone from me forever. My hope - my love - my life. And yet I hear you still. Your sweet voice whispering in my ear. And then I wake up and find I have fallen asleep in the palace gardens again. The evening breeze carried broken echoes of past professions of love to my ever-straining ear, teasing my heart and then breaking it all over again. I always believe I can hear you and that you may come back to me. I tell Sabé. My dear friend listens with a sympathetic ear, but I know she silently curses you. I can see it in her eyes, for they flash when I say your name... Anakin... Anakin, come back.

"Anakin! Please come back to me!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I stared out at the whirring ships as they passed my window. Even at this height they come, transporting their contents all over this city planet. The lights blur as tears cloud my eyes. A savage hand wipes them away. A Sith warrior, a lord of the Dark Side, cannot - does not - show emotion... even when that emotion threatens to overwhelm him, consuming his entire being. My Master has retired for the night. He believes that I am his. He believes that I have given up all free will and resigned myself to him entirely. But this one emotion, powerful as it may be, is the one I have chosen to hide. The rest he cherishes and fosters - my anger upon the death of my mother, my fear of living without her gentleness and guidance, my fear that you are lost to me forever. If only he knew what lay beneath the last. My love for you is still strong. I try to recall the reasons that I left you and find they are weak and stupid. Is it to late to come home? As I lean my head against the transparent surface, I suddenly feel hot. The cold night air will be good for me. I walk to the door of the balcony. I unlock it and step out. The chilly air blasts in my face and penetrates my black robes. I can see a ship approaching, a passenger transport. The massive vessel passes with a loud whirring sound. In its wake, I think I hear something, words in a voice I have heard only in my head when I replay my old, happy memories. This voice is sad and pleading. Anakin, please come back to me... Could it be? Is our bond so strong that I hear her call? Oh, gods... I must go to her. Not even my demented Master can hold me back!

"I'm coming, my love! Wait for me!"

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I had fallen to the warm earth of the gardens and warmed it further with my hot tears. Sabé pleads with me to accompany her to our quarters. She sleeps in my room now, afraid to leave me alone. How tired I am. I should sleep. I am still Queen and I must face my court with dignity and a stone face. As I lean on my friend's arm, the wind begins to blow again, rustling the varied foliage around me. And then my ears lie to me again. I hear a call in the voice not unlike the one I so longed to hear. It is soft, indiscernible at first, but its strength grows! I can hear it now. I'm coming, my love. Wait for me! I have been waiting, Anakin. I ask Sabé if she hears it, the voice in the wind. But she doesn't, she couldn't - her ears are deaf to my lover's supernatural entreaty. But I hear him and I know he's coming home. My heart is light and airy and the strain on my mind is eased. I offer my guilt and sadness up to that same wind to carry away to some place where it is needed by Fate. Under those heavy bindings, I find hope.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My mind is in turmoil and I cannot rest. I make my way impatiently on the freezing streets of Coruscant, packed with pedestrians at every hour. My heart is ahead of me, pulling me on my way back to that place that has all I could ever want. My wife waits for me. Her call reassures me. I know she still loves me and I know she will forgive me. Only now, as I am free from the fetters of the Dark Side, do I realize how much I need that forgiveness. I will deal with my Master later with the help of an old friend, my true Master, the one who believed there was good in me to the last. He will be glad to know that someone has found it and made it grow strong enough to kill the darkness that was eating away at my heart. But now, my heart restored, I go home, to my hope - my love - my life.

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