FAN FICTION : ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
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Into the
Ashes
by Wren
Skywalker
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Anakin was still not able to shed
any tears. As he watched her family, and Sabé, and several members of the
senate, shed tears of their own, he knew what they must be thinking.
He doesn't even cry for her.
But reality had not yet set in. She wasn't really gone. She wasn't really
gone... A soft voice in his ear interrupted his thoughts.
"Anakin, please - please, I can barely think straight... just tell me. Did
she die instantly?"
Anakin turned to look into the teary eyes of Jobal Naberrie. He couldn't even
begin to imagine what she must have been feeling as her daughter's body lay
before her, waiting to be burned, cast into the shadows. Yes, he loved Padmé,
but not like her mother had. No one could ever love her as her mother had.
Anakin had known Padmé for twelve years, he had been with her for three of
those years. But he knew Jobal was thinking of Padmé as an infant, taking her
first steps, saying her first words...
"Anakin?" Jobal asked hesitantly. She noticed that he had a distant look on
his face.
Anakin shook his head slightly, clearing his head of memories of his own, and
remembered Jobal's question.
Did she die instantly...
"No, not instantly. She talked to me for a few minutes, and I... thought she
was going to make it," he said, his voice weak, his mind racing as he forced
himself to remember. "But then..." he couldn't bring himself to finish his
sentence.
Suddenly, blaster fire broke out. Anakin ignited his lightsaber immediately and
Force-jumped to Padmé's senate box, deflecting lasers and blaster shots from
the moment he landed. But he was too late.
Padmé lay almost unmoving on the floor of the box, Sabé kneeling desperately
at her side. Sabé looked up and met Anakin's eyes, tears falling from her
own. Anakin dropped to Padmé's side and let his lightsaber slip from his
hands. There was a small, almost undetectable blaster hole in her chest, and a
tiny stream of blood was pouring from it steadily.
Sabé was weeping openly over Padmé's chest. Anakin's mind was thinking a
thousand things at once, but the only thing he focused on was Padmé, almost
unconscious, before him. He looked at Sabé once more.
"Please, Sabé, let me... let me say goodbye," he whispered. Sabé backed
away wordlessly, wiping tears from her eyes. Anakin placed a hand under
Padmé's back and gently pulled her up, so she was laying in his lap. Though
she was barely clinging to life, she moved her hand up to touch his face.
Anakin's breath came in hard gulps as he knew she was slipping out of
consciousness, and life.
"Anakin," she said weakly, more of a question than a statement. He stroked
her hair, hardly able to find his voice.
"I'm here, baby."
Padmé traced his lips with her quivering fingers.
"Love you," she managed to whisper, though Anakin could see she was in great
pain.
"I love you, too, baby." He wasn't going to mention how he hated himself
for letting this happen to her. That would upset her, and he didn't have
enough time to upset her.
Her hand lingered on his throat, and he moved his hand to cover hers. She closed
her eyes for a moment, and Anakin knew she was alive only because he could feel
her heart beating next to his. When she opened her eyes again, they were full of
tears.
"Tell Luke that I love him, and that I'm proud of him." She took a breath.
" Tell him I want him to be a Jedi... like his father."
Anakin smiled at her.
"I will," he promised.
"And Leia... tell Leia I love her, too. And tell her... oh, god, this is so
hard! I'm just not ready for this!" she cried, her voice still slightly
below a whisper.
"I know, baby."
Anakin held her to him tightly, realizing that to she had very little strength
left. He felt no tears of his own coming; everything had happened so fast. One
second, then the next...
Padmé gripped his hand tightly for a moment, before her body went limp in his
arms. She was gone.
Anakin lowered his head mechanically onto her chest and lay like that,
completely unaware of anything going on around him. He didn't look up when a
small shadow fell over him and Sabé placed a shaking hand on his shoulder.
" She's gone," he told her, and felt nothing when Sabé squeezed his
shoulder tightly and sank to his side. Sabé tilted her head up, as if asking
the gods why they had chosen to take Padmé. Anakin was asking himself the same
question. What had she ever done to deserve this?
When he opened his eyes again, Jobal was talking quietly with a woman in a
corner, tears in her eyes. Anakin thought they must be for Padmé. He
looked around, and saw Leia sitting by herself in a large, over- sized chair.
She was hugging a small cloth doll to her chest and sniffling absently. Anakin
knelt in front of her, and took her small hand in his own. Gods, she looked so
much like her mother.
Leia looked up slowly.
"Is mommy coming back?" she asked, her voice soft and innocent. Anakin
envied his daughter and her two years of age. She did not know death, like he
did.
"No, baby, mommy isn't coming back." This was the first time he had ever
told either Luke or Leia that their mother really was gone forever. Leia spoke
again, still not meeting his eyes.
"Where will we go?"
Anakin didn't really understand her question. She seemed to sense that
somehow, and went on.
"You have to go back with Master Yoda tomorrow. Where will me and Luke go?"
Anakin understood perfectly. She was afraid. She didn't know what was going to
happen to her; everywhere she went, Padmé went also.
Anakin sighed.
"I don't know, Leia. I just don't know."
* * * *
Anakin stood with Sabé, the Naberries, and a few others close to the
late Amidala. His children were standing in front of him, waiting to see what
would happen next. He would rather them not be present for this, but at the same
time, they had to know...
Padmé's body rested atop a stone dais, piles of wood beneath her. A
torch was flaming violently behind her. This was it. The end. And Anakin was
just realizing this. There was no turning back. There would be no more kisses,
or late night talks, or... anything. It all hurt so much; everything ached
inside of him. For the first time since that fatal day in the Senate, he felt
hot tears sting his eyes. She was really gone.
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