The Moons of Iego: The Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker Website

FAN FICTION : ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

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Fiery Reconciliation

by Tasrah

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Even in death, Padmé Amidala Skywalker was absolutely beautiful. The shimmering blue dress she'd worn the day of her funeral only enhanced the chocolate richness of her lush coils of hair, and the japor snippet - something that pained Anakin to look at now - rested peacefully on her full belly. He knew she was dead and yet he felt that she never had looked so lovely. A grassy meadow full of his love's favorite flowers surrounded her, and he watched her smell one with a smile. He smiled as well, remembering. Those were the very flowers Padmé had insisted be in their apartment year-round. Anakin never complained, they looked and smelled wonderful. The flowers were such a trivial little thing, yet it stung him bitterly in a way that he couldn't explain.

Then he looked at her stomach and cringed. The baby. He knew it had died with her, and it made him want to fall down on his knees and weep. I will never see my child. Padmé's child. Our beautiful baby. But if he did cry, then she would see him. And she would run from him, try to hide from him, to protect herself from the monster that he was. Anakin had no intention of hurting her. He just wanted to take her into a strong embrace and feel her in his arms, breathe in her softly scented skin, hear her say his name, tell her that he loved her more than anything…

He could do none of those things. He didn't deserve them. Oh, Padmé, can you ever forgive me?

A single tear dripped down his cheek, followed by another, then another. Soon they flowed freely, making the ground beneath him wet and spongy. Anakin had no idea where he was. Padmé was there, and as long as she didn't leave him, then it didn't matter what planet he was on. She was there, with him, and he was determined to keep it that way. There wasn't a thing, person, or event anywhere in the galaxy that could pull him away.

Was Anakin with the Force now? Had he finally seen the terrible things he'd done as they were, and not as an excuse to save his wife? Just before Obi-Wan had slain him, he'd seen nothing but sadness in his old master's eyes.

The burn-hole of where Obi-Wan's lightsaber had pierced him suddenly tingled and burned like nothing he'd felt before. Anakin gasped and keeled over onto the moist ground. It began to throb and pound and a low growl of pain escaped his lips without realizing that his angel would hear.

She turned away from the flower and saw him instantly. Anakin could do nothing but stare at her. What would she do now? Would she run, as he had predicted? Or was there a chance, just a slim chance, that she could ever forgive him?

Padmé did none of these things. She had her Senatorial Face on - stern, disapproving, and harsh. It made Anakin want to flinch, though he didn't. In her Senatorial Voice, she asked, "What are you doing here?" Then she crossed her arms over her huge belly, almost protectively, like she thought Anakin - the father of the children she carried - would hurt them. No, he would never! He wanted to yell it, scream it, make sure she understood. But he would only scare her away.

"Padmé," Anakin said tentatively. His voice trembled and he had to squeeze his eyes tightly shut so he wouldn't start crying like a baby again. The baby. What happened to our baby? "Oh, Padmé, I missed you!"

Her eyes, coldly formal, melted into something resembling sorrow. Only resembling. "Anakin," she said, like a mother scolding an unruly child, "What more can you take from me? You have my heart, my life, my soul, and my everything. There's nothing left of me to take because you stole it already!"

Anakin felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. Repeatedly. By a Barabel. He decided to try again. "Padmé, I only need you. Nothing else matters anymore, none of it does." He walked closer to her and noticed that she did not back away. Dropping to his knees, he said, "Love, could you ever forgive me?" Anakin felt a drop of moisture fall onto his cheek. Her tears. She was crying. "Please, don't cry."

"How can you expect me not to, Anakin? Or is it Darth Vader now?" Before Anakin knew what was happening, he was down on the ground. The echo of where her delicate hands had shoved him down resonated on his skin. Padmé's face was - rightfully, in Anakin's opinion - full of rage. All of the pity and sadness had left her. Now there was only anger. He tried to stand back up again, but she pushed him back with a firm slap. "I don't want explanations. I'm tired of hearing your stories. You lied to me once - maybe more than that - and you can lie to me again, but I'm not going to hear it."

Then, worst of all, she said, "You mean nothing to me, Anakin Skywalker." She began to walk away, but turned around after a few paces. "I'm sorry. I meant to say Darth Vader. That's who you are now, after all."

"Padmé, wait! I need to talk to you, please!"

"I will not speak to the one who killed me." She didn't even turn around but he heard her clearer than ever. She was right. He knew she was right. He had murdered her. But he'd felt her in the Force, he hadn't choked her to death. So what had happened?

A broken heart. He had broken her heart. Just as she had just done the same to his.

Anakin was in a daze. He knew the worst was over, but the worst had torn him apart and ripped him to shreds. His heart, which had once belonged to her, was now slashed with grief and thrown right back at him. Padmé was the only one who he allowed to hurt him like that. He didn't see the point of trying to get back up off of the ground. It was where he belonged.

Still, he couldn't help but raise his head ever so gently from the dirt to see her disappear into the forest. The forest? Where had that come from? They were in a meadow…

Thunder crackled overhead, threatening rain. Anakin followed his angel into the forest, trailing carefully behind her, staying just out of sight. He would not lose her again. Not like this. How could she torture him so horribly even though they were both dead?

She did not want him. It was a truth Anakin found so difficult to face. Ever since arriving wherever he was - the death-place - he'd felt like there was a small candle flickering within him. That tiny flame kindled and enlarged into a bonfire. All around him, he felt hot, so hot, like he was being engulfed by flames. A river of molten lava forced its way down his throat. A burn-snake hissed and sizzled as it wrapped itself around him. Anakin could only feel the fire, and it hurt so badly, and it would not stop!

Everything turned to black and Anakin Skywalker felt nothing more.

*~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~*

Padmé absolutely refused to cry. It took all the strength she had not to turn around and run back into the arms of the man she loved. Had loved. Behind her, she heard his screams - not just for her, though she was mentioned, but for it to stop. For what to stop? With a shake of her head, she moved on. She didn't know and she was determined not to care. Anakin Skywalker was dead now. Literally and figuratively.

As suddenly as the screams had started, they stopped. Impulsively she ran as fast as she could back to him where he lay in the forest. The mask of Darth Vader no longer encased his handsome features, the horrible suit was gone. In its place was the man she knew and loved. Was he? He had looked just like this when he had betrayed her, the Republic, the Jedi, and everything else he used to stand for.

She wanted to trust him so badly. But she just couldn't. Too much had happened between them. In her heart. In his mind. There was no way it could be fixed. Maybe she wasn't letting it because she knew it was wrong. Yes, that was it! Everything Anakin - no, Darth Vader had done was awful and evil. Padmé had seen the holoclips of dead younglings after the siege on the Temple. Then, she hadn't believed her Anakin could ever do these things.

In a way, he hadn't. It had all been Darth Vader. But Darth Vader was also Anakin. They were the same person. Two personalities shoved into one body. Neither could live with the other. So, which side had won, here in death?

She sat on a nearby tree stump, not wanting to look at his lifeless form anymore.

There she sat for hours. Days. Weeks. Padmé had no sense of time here, but it was long. Yet she didn't move. Didn't speak. Didn't cry. Too many hours of her death had been spent wallowing in sorrow and pity for it to return again.

"If I may say so, you're the loveliest angel I've ever met."

Padmé nearly fell off of her stump. It was him. His voice that filled her ears like music, not the horrible bass the suit had spoken for him.

That's when she knew her love was truly back. "Thank you," she said quietly, almost not believing what was happening. He stood before her in all of his glory - his hair shone golden, his wonderful blue eyes sparkled, and his physique was (as always) exceptional. What she hadn't even realized that she'd missed the most was that playful smirk of a smile that made her heart do a tap dance routine.

Keep breathing. Keep breathing. Keep breathing. Do NOT run to him. Do NOT run to him. Do NOT run to him. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay...

"I missed you too, love." DON'TDOITDON'TDOITDON'TDOIT! "Oh, Anakin!" she shrieked, running to him and pinning him to a nearby tree, disobeying her own orders. She wrapped her arms around him and just reveled in the fact that he was here, with her, and that he was all she'd ever need. His strong arms embraced her gently and soft kisses dotted her neck. Warmth radiated from every place of her that he touched. She kissed him many times, but instead of satisfying her, each gesture of love made her hungrier for him.

"I love you," he murmured, over and over. That was all that she needed to hear.

*~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~*

The Skywalkers would never again be apart from each other. For eternity, they would remain by each other's side. Neither could think of any other way to spend the rest of their life.

Anakin had been elated when Padmé told them that their children - yes, children - had survived and were now healthy and happy. The two parents watched over Luke and Leia constantly, cheering them on and worrying about them. Darth Sidious - the Emperor - had gotten a new apprentice that was reigning terror across the galaxy. Luke finally put a stop to it, with the help of the Rebel Alliance led by Leia.

Both Padmé and Anakin felt that they needed to make an appearance to their children once, only once, before retreating back to the death-world of the Force. And so they did, during a victory celebration on Endor. They danced together and kissed, so joyful that their children were safe from the evil Empire. Every second that passed was a second that Anakin was so relieved he had not gone down that dark path completely.

Near the end of the night, they presented themselves to Luke, then to Leia. No explanations were needed. The twins now knew of their parents' great love for them without a single word being exchanged.

Anakin and Padmé retreated back into the Force, where they would be until their children came to join them.

END.

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